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Unfortunately, writing disturbing narratives is my specialty. For instance, in all my relationships, I’ve preferred that my partner initiate sex—it makes me feel wanted. When they don’t, my story quickly becomes: “I guess I’m literally Shrek and they’re disgusted by my presence and I should sleep outside with the Les Chiens Me Rendent Heureux Les Humains Me Font Mal A La Tete Shirt moreover I love this raccoons.” When in reality, maybe they just, like, have a headache? When our dark imaginations overpower our curiosity, sex can easily become a proxy for myriad insecurities—that we’re not skinny enough, smart enough, or that our podcast is failing.

But even if you’re somehow evolved enough to create a healthy dialogue around sex, it still doesn’t answer the Les Chiens Me Rendent Heureux Les Humains Me Font Mal A La Tete Shirt moreover I love this essential question: How often should you bang? What are the magical Goldilocks numbers that tell us when to panic, feel smug, or check into rehab? I’ve been there. If you’re in a sex slump, once you finally rail it’s like resetting the clock—“Okay phew, we’ve got a week before it gets weird again!” Of course, if you’re able to address it before paranoia sets in, it makes the whole thing less threatening.

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