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I’m hoping this collision between two of Hollywood’s celestial bodies can be chalked up to Mercury in retrograde. (Lord knows my stress levels have been rocketing from zero to a thousand every time my phone pings.) This has to be a misfire in communications, surely? I think what Sharon meant to say was, “I accept Meryl as my Lord and savior, no questions asked.” I didn’t know it was possible to feel the I Like Ballet And Dentistry And May Be People Shirt moreover I love this whole internet wince at the same time. I feel like my two favorite aunts are quarreling, and I don’t like it one bit. As my sexy Aunt Sharon and Aunt March from Little Women clash, our collective basic instinct is to protect Meryl Streep at all costs.

You already love Meryl. I already love Meryl. Whoever they cast to play you in the I Like Ballet And Dentistry And May Be People Shirt moreover I love this story of your life, you all secretly hope that Meryl is tabled, even if she doesn’t make the final cut, because she has the range to play every one of us. Rather than worry that we’ve all been sucked back into that tired patriarchal mode of pitting brilliant women against each other, let us just take a moment to fully enjoy the brilliance that is Meryl Streep. How do I love her? Let me count the ways.

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